Catch 'em Being Good

"I love you."

I texted those words to my boy and my girl recently.

Just randomly. Out of the blue.

My girl texted back. "I love you, too."

My boy: "What was that for?"

"Nothing. Just thinking about you. Suspicious one, " I texted back.

Maybe he had grounds for his suspicions. I'd been riding him about grades. About his messy room. About his infrequent music practices. His time in front of his computer.

I'd probably spent less time talking to him bout how proud I was that he'd stood up to the kid in his class who made the racist comment. And that he's distanced himself from friends who were starting to make bad choices. That he was planning on registering for challenging classes next year even though school was not coming as easily for him as we had hoped.

And I remembered something I learned way back when he was little and I was in an early childhood class: Catch them being good.

It's funny how so many of the things that worked when they were younger still make sense.

I need to catch them being good.

I'm awfully good at catching them being bad.

Now, bad here is a relative term. My kids, thank God, don't get into the kinds of trouble that give parents nightmares. And for this, I am so very grateful.

Which must make my focusing on the negative seem all the more unjust to my teenagers.
A missed responsibility here. A disrespectful act there. I come down pretty quickly and pretty hard. And that may be part of what makes them mature, responsible people. I don't let things slide.

But I can't forget to catch them being good.