"My Friends Get To"

"Mommmm?" my 15 year old boy asked me on the phone this weekend. And something about the way he drew that word out told me I wasn't going to like this question. "Yes?"

"Can (note, grammar was not my first concern here) P. and I rent an R rated movie?"

"Make another choice. But I super appreciate your calling and asking."

"But P.'s mom said it was okay."

"That's their family's choice. Not ours. Please choose a different movie." And that was the end of it.

Actually I was surprised he used the "my friends get to" strategy. He hasn't for a long time. It's never worked.

It didn't work this time.

It never will.

I know there have been times that this has cost my kids socially. Even when they were very young, I have seen friends fall away as my kids have not been allowed to do everything those friends have been able to do. Not horrible, dangerous things. But things on that slippery slope. I figure if we can't say no to the little things now, we're sure not going to be strong enough to say no to the really big things later. Things that are dangerous like, say, loading up a car with a bunch of friends and racing around town. And if we as adults can't stand up to the peer pressure of our kids friends, how on earth can we expect our kids to?

Anyway, this amazing thing happened. As some friends fell away my kids found awesome new friends. I mean I love my kids close friends. They are really good people. And this is a very good thing for all of us.

See, once you have that trust suddenly you don't have to be all up their business all the time.

My kids tell me where they are. Who they're with. What they're up to. And that's pretty much all I need to know.

I tell them I love them. Be safe. I'll see you soon. And that's pretty much all they need to know.