"Words to Live By"

If you asked my kids what are two primary lessons I taught them about cooking they would, without a doubt, say the same thing:

1. When making a pie crust, keep all ingredients and utensils cold.

2. When making a white sauce or gravy, cook the roux a full three minutes.

If you asked them what are the two things I taught them about how to exist in the world they would probably say:

1. Tip well.

2. Pick up the fitting room after yourself.

That's random, you're probably thinking. What about all those other important things like, "be honest, be nice, be gentle, do the right thing, love God, feed the hungry, work hard and on and on and on. "

And it's not like I haven't talked about all those things with my kids. You bet I have. I know they're steeped in those values at home and at church. But those values have a kind of general ring to them.

When I'm out at a restaurant with my kids I want them to see how hard our server is working for what little he or she is likely making. "If you learn nothing else from me, learn this. Tip well," I say. It's a way of respecting another person. And their work.

Nobody can tear apart a fitting room faster than my kids and me We can fly through outfit after outfit in no time flat. And when we're done, you'd never even know we'd been there. " There's no reason someone should have to come in here at the end of a long shift and pick up after us," I'd say. "If you learn nothing else from me, learn this. Pick up the fitting room after yourself."

"I thought we were supposed to tip well." "That, too."

For me these two things just serve as metaphors for the way we treat other people. People we don't know and who don't know us. People we may never see at all or may never see again. It kind of shows at a fundamental level whether we respect the people around us or not.

I guess I was asking my kids to put themselves in someone else's shoes and to treat those people with dignity.

Which is maybe not so random after all.