With the exception of "I love you," "Use your words, please," may have been the most important words I used with my kids when they were little. Cuz the thing was, I just didn't take tantrums. Never gave into one. Never responded to one. Headed 'em right off at the pass is what I did. Just using that simple phrase: "Use your words, please."
The first words I taught my son were, "help, please." I could just tell he was going to have a quicker flash point than my daughter had. The second I'd see him getting frustrated with a toy or something he was trying to do I'd encourage him to say, "help, please." And I'd step in to help right away. If he started to pitch a fit about wanting something I acted fast. I never let it escalate to the point where I couldn't get his attention and say, "I don't pay attention to that behavior; use your words please." And you what, he did. And he still does.
I was just telling someone the other day that I think this has been the most constant phrase I've uttered as a mother.
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